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Light a Candle
Eulogy for Bess Abel We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Bess Abel, Basya Rus Batsheva Rochal Bas Dovid Chaim. In many ways Bess is a very hard person to speak about. She was a very private person and never ever wanted to be spoken about. Whenever I spoke to her about something relating to her she would always mention confidentiality and that she did not like people to talk about her. Even when she was sick, she told me that she wants me to pray for her but only if I will also pray for others because she doesn't want it to be just about her. Bess was the daughter of 2 very prominent and respected people in West Orange Although I never met them personally, moving to this community, I have heard so much about how special the Abel’s were and what they meant to West Orange. Bess was a very devoted daughter to them. It was with them that Bess showed her true devotion and strength. When her mother was diagnosed with dementia, Bess fought her employer to take an extended leave of absence to care for her mother. She eventually had the state of NJ take up her cause and won in court. For Bess it wasn’t only her situation that she was concerned about but felt that everyone should have the opportunity to take leave to care for an elderly or other family member in need and to quote her cousin Bill Waranoff this helped push the family leave act in the right direction. In a Dvar Torah that I will put in the shul newsletter. Bess quotes Rebbeizen Tzporah Heller on the hebrew word Roni as a prayerful song that could be song at night. Bess goes on to talk about Chanukah in which the lights of chanukah which illuminated the darkness. I believe this dvar Torah was very fitting to describe Bess. I know Rebetzen Heller and even stayed at her house and think that given the chance, she and Bess would have been very close as they are similar in a number of ways. Bess was a very spiritual person, so much so that no matter what we were talking about she would always end her sentences with Hashem willing or Baruch Hashem. She would see the beauty in a song, a prayer, a painting or even in human nature. Bess worked as an art teacher for many years in Jewish day schools in New Jersey, she was deeply devoted to her students, and she excelled in encouraging them to express themselves.Later on in life she took on students to perform art therapy with them. She would always tell me that she could not share what she was doing or who she was helping but she found children were able to use art to bring out something special in those children she helped. According to her good friend Joyce Michel, Bess loved to hike in the Adirondacks and it was clear to everyone that she loved nature and the beauties that we see in the world. Every week, Bess would sit outside her home and offer water to those people who walked by often commenting on the day, sky or trees. Bess loved to learn Torah and loved to come to shul when she could. There were many weeks she was the only woman to show up at Seduat Shlishi and she and her good friend Avraham Kallus would sit and learn together. Watching them together was a great source of inspiration for everyone attending shul. Bess told me that one of her biggest regrets was that she did not have any children. Although she did not have an impact on her own children, she did make an impact on many other people that she encountered to who she will be greatly missed.
